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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Death and Kids

Many of you know that I have three daughters. Our kids have never really had to deal directly with the face of death. We had a dog that died last year, but he stayed with my father for two years. So he was missed, but the children were okay after his death. Yesterday our pet bird died. I didn't know how the kids would take it, but I soon found out. Each child dealt with it differently. My six year old was very sad, and she cried most of the day. She was okay at the funeral, but she started grieving after we made it home. She took the cell phone and listened to a song that she played for the bird every night. Before we knew it she was running in our room with tears flying everywhere talking about things would never be the same without Timmy. Later last night she came into our room because she couldn't sleep. After minutes of hugs and kisses on her forehead she was able to fall to sleep.

The middle child dealt with it a little differently. She went into the room which they shared with Timmy , and soon went to sleep. She woke up for dinner, and then she went back into the room. For some reason she didn't want to leave the room. She felt like she was being closer to him by staying inside the room. She didn't cry. Instead she argued with her sisters and blamed the bird's death on the six year old. Of course the six year old didn't kill the bird, but it was the way she reacted. After we told her that Alison didn't cause the death...she still felt anger.

Our oldest daughter (14) tried to stay away from the area that Timmy lived in. She wanted the cage as a reminder. She was hit pretty hard. After she found out about the bird's death she asked me if God was punishing her for talking back. She cried, and then she stayed in the room with my us until bedtime. After it was all said and done each one of the girls dealt with Timmy's death in a different way. They all were sad. They all loved the bird, but they dealt with it in their own way. The six year old thinks she will never feel better again, while the others have yet to mention it this morning.

It was a hard lesson to learn about death, but it was a lesson that we have all had to learn. 

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