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Thursday, August 21, 2014

I Am So Fail Right Now

I'm in one of those kick ass horrible moods. If I were a room, the walls would be closing in right now. My chest hurts, not sure if it's because of this badly made bra or because I am still sick. Tomorrow is Friday. I feel myself reaching for it like a drowning swimmer reaches for the side of the pool before they sink. I still haven't gotten around to making the corrections on my manuscript. I saw a lady today with lumps on her back and it made me think about my dad. He had this lump on his chest and well the rest in history. I found a text message on my phone from February about taking him to the doctor. At that time he was getting around. Of course he died a month later.

Have you ever felt like you didn't fit in? There's once class I have to teach each day with this co-worker who has made it clear she hates me. For some reason, it is really starting to get to me. I was sick last week and on Monday I started feeling dizzy and I felt pains shooting up the side of my face. I leaned against the board, and she and the other coworker walked out. My clients were concerned. I balanced myself and took a few deep breaths. After they exited the room,I finished cleaning the board off and waited for a few seconds. What kind of therapist do I work with? What kind of company keeps a therapist with so many complaints by her co-workers? She hates everyone! If you have a low IQ, better not have her for your teacher, if you don't speak English, better not have her for your therapist because she will not try to help you at all. To be honest that is what caused our problems. I would not let her exclude someone from our class and deny them the chance to understand our work. We have had problems every since that day. I told my boss about it, but she is still there. I feel like they are harboring a bully, and they aren't doing anything about it.

I'm going to bed now...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Casting A Light On Suicide : Robin Williams

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Suicide is something that will never go away. Some movies make it seem noble, while some show it as being an extreme tragedy. To the mother, worker, wife, sister, aunt, friend, co-worker it is always horrible. It ends the chance to put things right.

About two weeks ago, some of my clients were looking at Mrs. Doubtfire. We talked about how Robin Williams had battled depression and how he thought it was time he returned to a rehab facility because he needed help. Yesterday, I learned Robin Williams committed suicide. I couldn't help but feel like a failure. I didn't know him, but I work in programs that are meant to save people like him. There are people who leave our institutions and we know they will more than likely return because the void is still there and in many cases, we see it. In our conference today we learned that almost half of the people who commit suicide, talk to their mental health behavioral doctors at least 30 days prior to doing the deed. So, what's happening? Where is the change?

The change has to come in the process of training mental health professionals and para professionals all over the country. Everyone should be sent to at least one conference a year on this crisis. We all need to learn about the warning signs of suicide. There needs to be better training on various types of depression.

Lastly, as family members, we have to be careful. My daughter was bullied and attacked by a group of girls on the 4th of April. She started having nightmares and then she tried to kill herself in May. For two days straight we were dealing with back to back attempts, and finally when it got too bad, we ended up taking her to a facility for a brief stay to help stabilize her. It's okay to need help. It's okay to need redirection. Recovery isn't something that happens overnight, it takes a while, it's painful, it's not always private, but it is always worth it.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Arts S.B. Santiago: Valkyrie update

The Arts S.B. Santiago: Valkyrie update: Chapter 1 What do you think?                                                                                                          ...