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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Program Poem

We picked out poems for my father's program. I could have added something, but I couldn't think of the words. I couldn't think of anything that could explain what I felt. Today I found myself cleaning like there was no tomorrow. I rearranged things and cleaned areas I haven't touched in months.  I guess cleaning helps me cope with his death. We are having an open casket funeral. Talking to my sisters about my feelings seems to be a bit harder than usual. I don't know what to say. I still can't believe I am talking about a funeral. I just told you about the cancer not to long ago. I don't want to see them put him in the ground because I don't want to leave him there. I know he is dead, but it seems like we are leaving him . For some reason I can somewhat deal with this part. However, I don't know how I will deal with that part. When I went through that with my mom, he was by my side.  He was my strength. How do you bury your strength? I came up with this poem, it's too late to add it to the program.

Maybe I’ve seen the sun and I’ve seen the Ocean

I’ve tasted the flavor of love and in every notion

Yet a father’s love is uncanny because in every way

It leads us to be more

Each and everyday

Maybe I’ve seen the sun and I climbed the every mountain

But I’m torn to pieces over my devotion

My heart is rolling like a stormy ocean

It hurts of so deep

And now I weep

I’m standing here

Ready to cling

To that sweet sweet dream

Of my father’s devotion

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