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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Issues with chapter three of my new book....

Chapter 3

  “ What’s this? Vanclad asked, as he walked towards Toni and looked at her markings.
Norrie didn’t want the members of  The Viderian Cause knowing that she had brought home an earthling.  So she decided it was best if she altered her appearance to some degree. After a few successful surgeries while Toni was out she had managed to give Toni a set of blades starting from her elbow reaching all the way down to her wrist. Toni had awakened twice, but both times the pain seemed to cause her to fall right back to sleep. Sadly, she would have to wake up again, and this time she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. The people of Videria would take notice of a being of weak nature , so she had to make sure Toni appeared to be the picture of health.
“ Wake up ! You need to get up now.” Norrie said as she pulled Toni’s legs to the side of the small cot.

“ I’m in pain and my body hurts all over. What did you do to me?” Toni asked.
           
 “ I had to alter your appearance. They didn’t want anyone from your planet saved. I don’t know what you did, or your kind. However, nobody wanted to help you. If I didn’t have my own ship you would have died with your parents and everyone else on earth.” Norrie said, as she held onto Toni’s legs.
Toni looked at her arms and noticed black blades running down the side. She stretched her arm out as far as it could go, and noticed that her fingers had been altered as well. Her hands looked like webs with small talons for nails. As she slowly lifted her weight off the cot, she noticed long red locks that spilt over her shoulders. She wasn’t Toni anymore. She was a creature like the one that stood beside her. As hot tears started to flow down her cheeks she remembered her mother standing before the Lingering. She was brave. Perhaps her mother was showing her with her last breath how to be brave and look adversity in eye.
“ Have you told anyone my name?” Toni asked, as she fought the urge to yell out in pain as she stood for the first time.
           
“ No, not yet.” Norrie said, as she continued to look for others.

“ From now on call me Adversity.” Toni whispered, as she recalled the last image of her mother.

“ You must never tell anyone you are from Earth.” Norrie stated, as she walked towards the door.

“ Norrie, aren’t you going to train me? You told us you would train me and teach me to be like you.” Adversity said, as she slowly limped Norrie’s way.

“ I have to go for a few hours, just try to fit in the best you can. They don’t speak your language, but they are like me. They will learn it, and when they do they will learn that you are from earth. So, I need you to take these and listen to them continuously. Our language station is around the corner. Go put these in and listen to them Adversity. I liked your name better before you changed it, Adversity will take some getting used to. Anyway stay there until I return. Instead of learning to communicate with them, right now you have to learn how to retrain your language. There was a planet a few years ago named Jiron. The inhabitants looked a lot like you, after their planet froze we moved a lot of the members to other planets in the system. So, you will be one of those inhabitants.” Norrie said, as she walked out the door.

Adversity listened to the tapes over and over for the next two hours. By the time the tapes ended the words were placed in her mind. Her pain was no longer noticeable, at least her physical pain wasn’t noticeable she concluded as she pushed backwards. Slowly she stood up and looked around. The small room was full of creatures listening to language devices. So, now it was her time to be the alien she thought as she smiled to herself. Everyone looked different. There were big aliens, small aliens, green, blue, and red aliens. As she leaned against the wall she noticed an alien look up at her from over the station. Strangely it didn’t look male or female. Its hair was black and short with small suction caps outlining each ear.

“ They are heat sensors . They protect me from the elements as well as a few other things.” Hythel said ,as he stood up looking in Adversity’s direction.  

“ Oh.” Adversity said, as she backed up. She didn’t want to speak to anyone because she didn’t know what to say.

“ Why were you studying the Jiron language? Are you not from there ? You look like the Jironians, but you don’t say things as they do. Maybe I should say like they did. So, are you not originally from there?”  Hythel asked, as he noticed her fidget with her hands.
           
“ No, not originally. It doesn’t matter right now. It looks like there are creatures from everywhere on this ship. I don’t see anyone in this entire room that looks alike.  How did you know what I was studying?” Adversity questioned.

“ I could hear it. I could also hear you practicing the language. You don’t have to tell me where you are from, but I knew you weren’t  Jironian by birth.  My first  guess was  that you were from one of the exiled planets, and you were here because someone owed your parents a favor. I see that a lot lately. It’s best you keep your identity to yourself. Some of the others use it against each other when it comes to competitions.”

“ Oh, I didn’t know that.” Adversity stated, as she looked for Norrie.
           
“ Did Norrie tell you about her background?” Hythel inquired.
           
“ No, she didn’t.” Adversity said, as she continued to look for Norrie.

Hythel didn’t want to tell the new member about Norrie because Norrie was very private. He knew all about Norrie and her underground squad. The problem was how to tell the guard without making her look like a thief or a traitor. Her main mission was to supply Videria with a respectable guard, however everyone was starting to talk about the fact that her recruits never stayed longer than two years. Some of the elders were talking about demotion if they could prove she took the members from the guard. Others wanted her exiled from the planet if she were found guilty. For the past ten months he had been dispatched to her unit with the hope of finding out the reason behind her unit’s mass rotation.  So far he didn’t see anything so alarming. She seemed like the other officers.

“ It’s nice to see you making friends already Adversity. Hythel is one of our top recruiters.” Norrie said, as she walked between the pair.

“ I’m not that good. I just do what I can. We are in a dangerous time, and lately it would seem that all of the planets are either at war, or will be soon.” Hythel countered.

“ Mid Corporal Hythel, I need to show Adversity around the area. So, we will talk to you later.” Norrie stated as she walked to the door.

“ Did I do something wrong?” Adversity questioned.

“ No, I just don’t trust him. He shouldn’t be a Mid Corporal his rank doesn’t match with his being. I don’t know how to say it in a way that you understand it. I’m just trying to say that I can feel something out of place when it comes to Hythel. 
Honestly
           
Okay so this is the deal...I'm stuck.........I don't know what to do next......My mind is mush right now...and I can't think......I hate this.




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