I purchased him two shirts and two blue jean pants because he wanted to be warm. I'll take the paper and tags off the shirts before I give them to him. We are taking him to the doctor tomorrow. He's being braver than I am. He was like "You don't have to come down and go with me!" I told him I knew that, but I wanted to. I spent so many years being mad at him for abusing my mother. At one point I wanted to run him over with the tracker myself. Over the years I learnt a lot of things about their relationship and my relationship with him. I learned how to let the anger go. I love him so much. I spent so many years being angry. I'm scared of going to bed because I know the doctor waits for us tomorrow. It's hard to tell you how I feel, but I know in order for me to do this, I have to write it. Writing has been my only guard in the prison of depression. Without my blog, stories, or vents I would not be here.I feel like my heart is pumping in my stomach.